so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
