I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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