The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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