my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
