was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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