I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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