If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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