Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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