actually, I'm a sock model
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
