that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
