i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
