i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
