love makes seman taste better
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
