i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
