we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
