im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
