He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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