I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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