lets start a swedish sibling band together
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
