so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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