Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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