i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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