That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
