I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dick very happy bro
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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