'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
