I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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