does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
