she was so not down for the gang bang
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
what day is it and did you see me today?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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