Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
