I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
