five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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