So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I want her autograph on my taint
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
