I can't watch pbs sober anymore
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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