I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
