I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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