Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
