He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
