im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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