i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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