So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
