8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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