Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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