I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
4 words: hood of his car
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
