It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
