I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
