is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She bit a glass in half.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
