On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she peed on how many people?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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