I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
