It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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