i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
