we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
