actually, I'm a sock model
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
