fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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