Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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