Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
