I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
