You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
